Six Months To Live

Company Conference 2010

2010-02-06T19:21:00.002+08:00

I just came back from my company's conference for senior managers in Asia Pacific region. More than 150 people, majority of them quite high up the company's "food - chain", arrived in Macau last week. We also have people from Mothership London bestowing us with their presence, and hopefully wisdom.

I went to Macau from Hong Kong by ferry as I had an earlier meeting there.

As company conferences go in Asia Pacific, there are two distinct groups. The Caucasians and the Asians. The former spends lots of time talking in the bar (the conference pass doubles as a all-you-can-drink pass at the bar) about mostly work-related stuff with other Caucasians .They don't seem tired of talking shop. After talking shop, the more adventurous ones goes out to the many bars to chat up the many call girls in Macau, deluding themselves that those girls were romanced by them. This results in a lot of bleary-eyed Caucasians stumbling into the conference room the next day looking like something the cat dragged in.

The Asians generally stick to themselves. They prefer NOT to talk shop but to enquire about each other. The Asian women goes shopping at every opportunity.The more adventurous men go for step 2, by-passing the "drinks-at-the-bar" stage altogether unlike the Caucasians. Some go to the casino in the belief that they can beat the house, losing thousands of dollars at the baccarat table.

The above is a broad generalisation. Of course they are also those who straddle comfortably between the two.

Then there is a third group i.e. the healthy living guys. They can be Caucasians or Asians. But more of them are Asians. They sleep after dinner, and wake up to exercise and don't gorge themselves silly at the buffet.

At this conference, I decided to only talk to those who I'd like to keep as remember as friends, not just colleagues. You see, I am a bit tired and am thinking of a change in career. This was brought about by realisation that I am reaching the end of the tail-end of career progression within this company. I think I have outgrown the company after 10 years.

Worse, I have lost my rose-tinted glasses and now I can see the slick corporate climbers for what they are. Being a spin-doctor, its hard to be mesmerised by the leadership when I can see them for what they are. I also see some many who rise through the ranks not on merit but on the strength of nights at the bar with the big bosses. The Asians have definitely missed the trick, in my view.

After three days in Macau, its time to go back to my station and inspire the troops with words of wisdom and 'direction' from the Asia Pacific regional HQ. It'd not be easy as the troops will probably be sore as they're stuck home and not invited to the gala conference. We hope to inspire the troops with communication packs including videos, and by the way their targets have just gone up a couple of notches just to make it challenging. Aiyaiyai!

I am now asking myself the question, if I have six months to live will I still be working with this company?

Thank You K***C Hospital

2010-01-14T21:47:00.002+08:00

My treatment at the hospital will end soon as I move back to my station out of Malaysia in a week. Dr S**, and his staff from Operating Theatre, Ward and Physiotherapy were plain great.I thought that I'd surprise them with some cupcakes tomorrow morning. It'd be perfect as they wind down on Friday.

My wife ordered them from a business called Vanilla Pod. They are reliable and their cupcakes... heavenly. Best of all, they deliver your order right to your doorstep. I hope they survive tonight. Five have been 'sacrificed' as everybody wanted to make sure they are good enough to give to the hospital staff. ;-) . Here are the pictures:

Health - An Underrated Virtue

2010-01-13T09:07:00.002+08:00

My kids think I am ancient at 40+. My wife says that my body is like a 60 years old's. I used to eat, drink and be merry and "moderation" was just a word to elicit the consternation of my dear friend, the late Pritha Lucas.

It was only now that I am taking my health seriously but most of the damage has been done. I have all sorts of medical ailments brought about by bad lifestyle choices. I have discovered that being ill, stuck in a hospital is lonely. And no matter how supportive other people are, I am the only one who bears the illness. My loved ones can only watch as bystanders (and endure the heartbreak) as I struggle in pain.

The K2 trip was an attempt to break this cycle. I know that messing up halfway up or down the trek will be a major event. The trip sort of forces me to get my physical fitness back in shape.I have since end of November lost about 8 kilograms with just better diet and physical activities, and no diet pills or supplement powders. It is not too late despite lifestyle illnesses catching up. I feel stronger and more alert.

I know its trite that wealth without health is no good. I have learnt that 'letting go' of my health when I started working and raising a family was plain stupid of me. Nevertheless, its better late than never.

Adultery- An Overrated Sin

2010-01-11T18:19:00.000+08:00

Met my doctor this morning for my weekly stem cells injection.We got talking about the latest issue in Malaysia i.e. the use of "Allah" in the Christian Herald. In my view, this issue will be settled but not without bruised feelings on both sides of the debate. At the end, I predict that the Federal Court (the court of final appeal in Malaysia) will allow the appeal and decide in favour of the Government's case.

Today's blog is not about the issue. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has a view and you can read it in all media. My view is that this has been overblown. In fact, I am ashamed that such could be an issue in a country priding itself as a tolerant nation. It takes two to clap and both parties have behaved like children over a matter of "principle". People forget that these "matters of principles" have dragged nations to war.

Today, I am going to talk about adultery as an overrated sin. This stemmed from my discussion with my doctor about our politicians and their moral hypocrisy on the whole controversy over who has the right to use "Allah" to refer to God. I was talking about the former Minister who was caught having sex on video with his girlfriend. He was a fine and able minister but was forced to resign due to public pressure egged on by self-appointed moral guardians. We have lost a fine man.

In golf, we won't see the perfection that is Tiger Woods this season as he decides to lie low because of his scandal. We have lost a fine athlete and a great golfer.

To me, adultery is a private act. The three parties i.e. husband, wife and third party/parties have to resolve it themselves. Any party can be adulterous i.e. husband or the wife. The political correctness brigade wants to make every adultery by public figures a public affair. To me an adulterous golfer or a minister does not make him a lesser golfer or a minister. The same brigade will always say that public figures have a duty to behave because they are role models.

Live is short enough. People each have reasons to act the way the act. Adultery is certainly overrated as a reason for someone to resign from whatever he/she is good at. They can still be role models for what they are good at and being adulterous does not mean they should not continue doing what they are good at.

A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseini

2010-01-10T09:20:00.000+08:00

This is a great book. Its a compelling read, and depicts life of women in Afghanistan. Based on my short stint in Pakistan, I believe that the author had captured the essence of what life for women in these part of the world is like.

It is a worthwhile read. It made me rage inside to think about the injustices heaped upon our fellow human beings just because they bear a different set of chromosomes i.e XX instead of XY. These people don't realise that the perpetuation of this oppression will affect their sisters, daughters and grand-daughters.

What if these people have six months to live? Would they behave like that? Perhaps the answer to the imperfect world is for humans to have shorter lives like a house fly whose life cycle is just 20 to 30 days.

Correcting Past Mistake - Fatty Crab

2010-01-09T21:20:00.002+08:00

We used to go to this restaurant called Fatty Crab in Taman Megah, Petaling Jaya way back from 1995. They later opened up a branch at the Mines Resort City. About two years ago, a close friend told me that he used to play snooker with the owner's son who said that the food there is not halal for Muslims as it contains pork fat (lard). Given that I knew this friend for over 20 years, I told my family and friends whom I used to take for dinner there, and has since never had a meal there.

The signature dish served there was the Chilly Crab which my family and I missed. Recently, my wife asked around and there were a lot of confusion on the halal-ness of food served at Fatty Crab in Taman Megah. So she called the restaurant herself (+603-78045758) and she was informed that (a) they are pork-free, (b) they say they are non-halal because they serve beer, (c) its expensive to get JAKIM's halal certification, (d) the chicken wings were sourced from Ayamas i.e. halal, and (e) they use Knife brand cooking oil i.e. halal.

Since were were missing the Chilly Crab, we made our way there today. Arrived at 5.30 pm as they opened for dinner and promptly ordered Chilly Crab, Garlic Prawns, Fried Rice and Chicken Wings. Best of all we also ordered two portions of toasted bread to mop up the Chilly Crab sauce. As I went to the counter to pay, one of the waitresses still remembered my wife. We told her why we have not come and she was shocked to hear that.

Sadly, the main man - the Usher who determined who gets seated and don't - had passed away since. If you arrive after 6:45pm, be ready to queue outside for up to 30 minutes to 1 hour. The restaurant has kindly placed plastic chairs along the pavement for people to wait their turn. The Usher acted as a headmaster who kept tabs of who arrived first, second and matched groups to empty tables.

Coming back to the title of this blog. I will now spead the word about Fatty Crab to correct my earlier statement. My venerable teacher once said that if we utter a falsehood, we are under a duty bound to correct it. As long as people still believe in that original falsehood, we will bear the sin for it. So, to set the record straight - Fatty Crab's food is pork-free.

So go forth and enjoy the food. The original restaurant is located at No. 2, Jalan SS24/13, Taman Megah, 47301 Petaling Jaya, Selangor, open from 1730 hrs to 2330 hrs everyday, except Mondays when they close. The branch at No. 5, Jalan Tasik, The Mines Resort City, 43300 Sri Kembangan is closed on Tuesdays.

K2 Here I Come

2010-01-08T10:47:00.000+08:00

My treatment will end in the next two weeks. After three weeks of going daily for physiotherapy, I am walking without my crutches. I have been on one crutch for the past week and now voila... no crutch. The main incentive was to break in my new mountain boots.

I went to CoreZone at SS2 get my boots for the K2 Base Camp trip planned for August this year. BTW, the staffs there were very helpful. Best of all they were outdoor/mountain enthusiasts themselves and gave advice based on their experience.

Ended up buying all sort of other things. I didn't think that mountaineering can be so expensive. But hey, its only money and the experience of the trip will surely worth it. Living so close to the Himalayas, I might make this into a new hobby.

Culling, Essential For Simple Life

2009-12-29T11:54:00.001+08:00

I read today in NYT about "Books You Can Live Without". Its about getting rid of the clutter on your bookshelves.

I have, for a long time, subscribed to the "travel through this Earth lightly" approach to acquisition of physical things. When visiting places, I have always preferred not to buy any souvenirs as I preferred to treasure the memories of that place in my head rather than by some touristy key ring/tea towel that was probably made in China. I even abhor taking photographs. If not for my better half, who is a stickler for family-having-fun photos, we will not even have a photo album.

Talking about photos, one of my school mates had posted our 1980's pictures on his Facebook. This served as a big source of amusement for my wife who kept asking me about the things we did during the time we spent in that boarding school. I can only remember snippets but most of them were a blur.

The other day my sister told my son how I used to frighten her with tales of axe murderers, and the one time I hid under her bed with an axe, only to slither out when she went to bed. I can't remember doing that but it was nice that she remembered it and told my son of her crazy brother. At least now he knows that my telling of horror stories at his bedtime is not new. Ha, ha, ha.

With six months to live, in my view, this should be extended to even emotional baggage. There are so many things that are best to be let sink to the bottom of the sea, given a burial and forgotten. In my 40+ years there are some things that I have done and still cringe when I recalled them - not intentionally but they land uninvited.

New Year is upon us. A new decade is beginning. Its time to do some spring cleaning - both physically and mentally. With six months to live, it will do a lot of good to us to keep life simple and clear out all the clutter. Maybe then we can leave this Earth in peace when its time.

Eve of 2010 Party

2009-12-28T22:48:00.000+08:00

We are organising a New Year's Eve get together with a few old friends. They are basically my old school mates (known these guys since 1980), their wives/partners and kids. I love getting my friends together - these range from night outs, weekend outings, to Ramadan Iftars. Each time we had a gathering, my moment is when I take a step back from the crowd and just watch everybody talking and having fun. It is a great feeling to provide a platform for people to enjoy themselves.

This time it will be a barbecue. I hope the weather will co-operate. It had been raining in Kuala Lumpur these few days. My wife and I will provide all the grilled meats/seafood and drinks, and the rest of them have each been tasked to bring one side dish or dessert. It will be simple and done without caterers.

These parties used to be just us guys, then us guys with girlfriends. Then girlfriends turned into wives, and later babies, toddlers and teenaged kids came into the picture. The nature of the parties has also changed throughout the times. The "just guys" parties were... lets just say wild . Nowadays, as all my friends one by one 'found peace', the only "wild" is the wild salmon cooking on the grill. (I know the incorrigible few who are still living it up but that will be another story. Ha, ha, ha.) Whatever it is, I still have a blast each time we have a party.

If you have six months to live, a New Year's Eve party with friends is definitely something you should do.

Sherlock Holmes - Movie

2009-12-28T10:26:00.000+08:00

Watched the new movie Sherlock Holmes the other day at KLCC, starring Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law. If you are a die hard fan of Sherlock Holmes, you will not be happy to see him portrayed as a maverick in this movie. Robert Downey Jr is not and never meant to be another Basil Rathbone.

It was entertaining and worth watching and you won't be wasting your precious six months to live.

The Gods Envy Us But I Don't

2009-12-26T11:13:00.001+08:00

In the movie Troy, Achilles said, "Let me tell you a secret, something they don't teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be more lovely than you are now. We will never be here again."

In contrast, this poem by Chairil Anwar reflects closer what I feel.

AKU (I)

Kalau sampai waktuku (When my time arrives)
Ku mau tak seorang kan merayu (I don't want anyone to beg for me)
Tidak juga kau (No, not even you)
Tak perlu sedu sedan itu (There is no need for sobs)

Aku ini binatang jalang ( I am a wild animal)
Dari kumpulannya terbuang (An outcast)

Biar peluru menembus kulitku (Let bullets punch my skin)
Aku tetap meradang menerjang (I will continue to rage and kick)
Luka dan bisa kubawa berlari (With poisoned wounds I will run)
Berlari (Run)
Hingga hilang pedih peri (Until the pain disappears)

Dan aku akan lebih tidak perduli (And I don't care)
Aku mau hidup seribu tahun lagi (I want to live another thousand years)

Maret 1943 (March 1943)

The Gods may 'envy' us but I don't. Our lives are finite. We hurtle towards our deaths. It may be six months, it may be tomorrow. To me, my aim in life is to collect experiences. I want to live forever like an immortal but that is a fantasy.

This blog is inspired by a bad Christmas Eve Dinner at "The Apartment," a restaurant in KLCC, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. The food was substandard, and the service was appalling. We paid RM400 for food and bottled water (not even wine or any expensive drinks), I thought that someone with six months to live would deserve to be forewarned and not waste his time going to this place. It was not so much the money (really) but I was angrier about the waste of what could have been a perfect Christmas Eve which was also my son's birthday.

After all, there are only so many Christmas Eves that we will enjoy. A Malaysian male is expected to live to 70.56 years, and a Malaysian female is expected to live to 76.21 years. I am 40+ and my quota of Christmas Eves to experience is now less than 30.

So this blog will be a mix of reviews of life experiences - food, books, movies, trips, as well as my own thoughts. Hopefully, this would be useful for someone who has six months to live.