The Gods Envy Us But I Don't

In the movie Troy, Achilles said, "Let me tell you a secret, something they don't teach you in your temple. The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be more lovely than you are now. We will never be here again."

In contrast, this poem by Chairil Anwar reflects closer what I feel.

AKU (I)

Kalau sampai waktuku (When my time arrives)
Ku mau tak seorang kan merayu (I don't want anyone to beg for me)
Tidak juga kau (No, not even you)
Tak perlu sedu sedan itu (There is no need for sobs)

Aku ini binatang jalang ( I am a wild animal)
Dari kumpulannya terbuang (An outcast)

Biar peluru menembus kulitku (Let bullets punch my skin)
Aku tetap meradang menerjang (I will continue to rage and kick)
Luka dan bisa kubawa berlari (With poisoned wounds I will run)
Berlari (Run)
Hingga hilang pedih peri (Until the pain disappears)

Dan aku akan lebih tidak perduli (And I don't care)
Aku mau hidup seribu tahun lagi (I want to live another thousand years)

Maret 1943 (March 1943)

The Gods may 'envy' us but I don't. Our lives are finite. We hurtle towards our deaths. It may be six months, it may be tomorrow. To me, my aim in life is to collect experiences. I want to live forever like an immortal but that is a fantasy.

This blog is inspired by a bad Christmas Eve Dinner at "The Apartment," a restaurant in KLCC, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. The food was substandard, and the service was appalling.  We paid RM400 for food and bottled water (not even wine or any expensive drinks), I thought that someone with six months to live would deserve to be forewarned and not waste his time going to this place. It was not so much the money (really) but I was angrier about the waste of what could have been a perfect Christmas Eve which was also my son's birthday.

After all, there are only so many Christmas Eves that we will enjoy. A Malaysian male is expected to live to 70.56 years, and a Malaysian female is expected to live to 76.21 years. I am 40+ and my quota of Christmas Eves to experience is now less than 30.

So this blog will be a mix of reviews of life experiences - food, books, movies, trips, as well as my own thoughts. Hopefully, this would be useful for someone who has six months to live.